Listen to me crap yaww.

Suck it all up

2011-05-09T23:57:00.003+08:00

Just because im used to it doesnt mean it doesnt hurt anymore.
These days im just sucking up to things.
Whatever shit happens, i just take every single thing on my own.
Im trying to immune myself to every single thing right now.
Im putting on a strong front in front of everyone so that no one knows im breaking down quietly on the inside.
I swear i dont know what im feeling inside.

I surrender!

2011-05-08T19:39:00.006+08:00

As of yesterday night, i made up my mind to be the evil one and hurt him the most. I think i had enough of hurt and heartbreak. By doing this, i hope he will give up on me. It doesnt really matter if hes the one i love the most or the best i ever had or the one i give my everything to. It doesnt matter at all anymore. Im tired of all these things. I just want to be happy. But we are two different people and we both want different things and therefore no matter how hard we try, we will never be happy. I can say this because for the past nine month, we have been trying to please each other but it always ends up in fights. I even came to a point of asking him to stop loving me. I swear its enough. I surrender.

Up above the world so high

2011-04-05T21:47:00.003+08:00

We went up the flyers on saturday. Thanks to being tricked by Raudah! Hahaha! Supposed to have an couple outing but Nas brother was getting married the next day so Raudah planned a surprise without telling me.

I was honestly so sleepy since i didnt sleep much the night before thanks to the TTSH meeting. Too tired that boyfriend actually wanted to cancel the plan of going up the flyers. But after eating, i felt a lil better so off we go. I was damn scared that i actually sat without moving for quite some time. It seriously didnt struck me about the tall height until i was inside. Hahaha. So i sat rooted to the ground for a while till boyfriend pulled me up. Heheh!

And to think he made me walked around city hall twice for no reason! My legs want to break sia. Haiyo! But i can say this is one of the best date we had been to. Love you baby. (:

And thank you Raudah &Nas for the tix! You guys rock! ((:

Eighth baby!

2011-03-29T21:10:00.002+08:00

Happy Eighth Baby!!
It only struck me today that we have come this far. Im so happy. Come next month and this will be the longest relationship i have to date. Insyallah, this relationship will last long. Amin! :D

I know things are hard for us cos we are two different individuals with two very different needs and wants. But im glad despite all, we overcome the differences and come this far. I love you babylove. Remember all the promises we make ouhkae. You will forever be in my heart. (:

All over again

2011-03-24T22:54:00.002+08:00

Attachment over. Results out. I must say someway somehow im starting to have a lil passion in nursing.

3weeks of attachment has been fruitful for me. I grabbed most of the chances to do skills. Though language was a barrier for me most of the time, i must say this is one of the best attachment i have been to. Staffs were friendly and nice. Making new friends with the ITE people was great too. I totally had a fun time in 12D.

Results werent so great but glad i passed all. GPA didnt went up much but i was surprised to get a B for most modules. And for the ferst time in 2 years, i got a B in clinical. That totally pulled my GPA up.

With the previous attachment and results, it somehow motivated me to do well in year 3. Final year and i need to buck up. Im sure i can do better for my last year of study. Hee!

I is tired

2011-03-11T22:00:00.002+08:00

Two weeks of attachment gone. I can say this is the only attachment that i have done quite a number of skills. But sad to say this attachment concentrates more on communication than delivery of care. Me no like!

Im looking forward to the one month holiday. But i guess i cant go overseas unless its with friends. Please anyone? Pity me and lets go on a holiday together? I badly want to go on one before the busy year starts. :(

I heard a not so good news and i have been brooding over it ever since. Dear god, please guide me through all these. I just hope things will be fine for us.

I love my family, boyfriend and my two bestfriends (:

SEVENTH!

2011-03-01T22:36:00.003+08:00

Since theres no 29/2/2011.. HEHE!
HAPPY SEVEN MONTHS BABY!!
You know i dont have to say these all the time but i love you. (:
I know we have been through crazy times together,
I may have wanted to give them all up but when i think i again,
Why should i when i have held on for so long? HEE!
They say that when you still want to be with the person who hurts you the most, thats love.
So baby, dont ever doubt my love for you again.
Forever&always (:

Off you go!

2011-02-24T21:56:00.003+08:00

Exams over! Which marks the end of year 2 too. Some papers are just enough to kill me. Some papers were manageable. Not too hopeful though. I just realised how fast time flies. Well one big burden off my shoulder and next up is the 3weeks attachment. I hope it will be over in no time and then i can enjoy my one month holiday peacefully. Im hoping for another holiday trip this time.

I want to work hard for year 3. It will be about a year from now for me to graduate. Im not ready to be a staff nurse i swear. But ouh well, at least im with part of my clique for my new sub group next year though theres someone i thought i could get rid of after this year.

&& I miss boyfriend badly so suddenly. I dont know why but i keep thinking of him these days. Raudah's going thru the same thing right now. But im kinda used to it. I remember how bad it hurts when I always see Raudah & Nas happily going out together, meeting nearly everyday while i have to rot at home with no one to go out with cos boyfriend is in camp. At least now i got someone to go out with. HAHA! (:

My Closest Enemy

2011-02-18T21:46:00.003+08:00

Halo baby! I dont like reading your blog posts cos i see you sad. Me no like!

I know you miss him badly cos i have been there and done that baby. Well patience is the key to everything. Keep yourself occupied & you will realise you won't think of him so much. How did you think i survived not getting to meet Ayid on weekdays? Thanks to school, all the project meetings & outings with friends, i managed to get over it. You will get used to it soon. Time will slowly change everything. This is speaking from experience. HEHE!

Come on baby. This is the time for us to meet each other everyday just like how we were single in the past. Your dearest bestfriend has promised to herself that she dont want to see Bibik Odah sad therefore shes gonna spend every single free days that she has with Bibik Odah so Bibik Odah wont be thinking about boyfriend so much.

Haha. I may not be as good as Nas but i will try my best to get your mind off him for now. Come on baby! Cheer up & smile like you always do! Lets have fun baby!Iloveyoumycrazyfunkytwin! ((:

Sugary sweets!

2011-02-07T22:29:00.001+08:00

Boyfriend cooked maggie for me, brought it over to my block and feed me. Ouh i feel so pampered. LOVES~

Life as we know it

2011-02-06T23:16:00.002+08:00

Life has been pretty.... exhausting? School is somewhat killing me. I put in quite abit of effort in school these days. I try not to be late for classes and attend every single lessons even if it means only having one tutorial for the day. I studied quite a fair bit for all the test. & most importantly i passed the lab test! Hee! I got C+ for Research, Stats & Bio test! Im quite happy with the results though they werent really that good. Group meetings are killing me but i just have to endure for one last week and we are done baby!

Family has been fine so far. Elly is getting louder and louder each day. Friends has been great though we hardly meet. I do miss them. Boyfriend has been fine though things were alil crazy few days back. But im glad everything around me is just fine right now. What more can i ask more now? (:

One more week and school will end. Semestral exams starts next Thursday. I hope my efforts will continue till the end of all the exams. Chiong for attachment and i shall enjoy the one month holiday peacefully. Hopefully i can go overseas again. :D

Half a year (:

2011-01-29T23:57:00.001+08:00

Sixth monthsary! (:

Went to Underwater World since i have never been there before. Boyfriend was all excited. So cute. HEE! He made me a happy girl by the end of the day and i love him for that.

Time spent together is always priceless. I just cant believe we have come this far. But i guess all the efforts and time i put in in this relationship is worth it so far. I love you baby! (:

Mummy its over!!

2011-01-21T23:19:00.002+08:00

Hectic week is over!! 3 presentations down! Bio prac over & passed my Nursing lab test! Woohoo!! Its worst to have both bio prac and nursing lab together on the same day but i made it thru both test. I dont really have high hopes for bio but at least its over.

Two more test & two more presentations to go then im done with Year 2 baby! But sad to say, i dread Year 3 cos i know when April 2012 comes, im not ready to graduate and become a staff nurse. :(

But ouh well, lets take things slow for now. I wanna concentrate on the last few things & the semestral exams before i stress myself up for Year 3. Jia you people!! We are ending everything soon! (((:

A year older on the same day

2011-01-14T22:56:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUHD FARIS RAZAK!!
A year older, a year wiser i hope. HEE!
Hope you had fun on your birthday though things went wrong and you cancelled the outing with us.
Remember we are always here for you bro.
Always in my heart; I love you bestfriend. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURAINI WAHID!!
A year older, a year getting more busy.
Hardly get to meet you anymore. :(((((
But nevermind, after the exams & in between my attachment, we meet up aite?
I still love you though we are not that close anymore. HEE! ((:

Two of the important people in my life turned a year older today. (((:

I wanna run!

2011-01-13T20:48:00.003+08:00

School is killing me.
Im totally drained out at the end of the day.
Thank god for friends who make it better.
Just a few more weeks to go & there goes the end of Year 2. :((

His love is all she knows

2011-01-06T23:56:00.003+08:00

I miss you.
We managed to get thru the week without any fight.
& im really happy about it.
I hope we will continue this way in time to come.
I dont know why i told you i reached the limit the other day.
Maybe bcus i was hopeful that we can change things around so that everything wouldnt go to waste.
So hopefully things will get better from now on.
No more fights. No more misunderstanding.
I love you dear.

Looking back...

2011-01-02T00:27:00.002+08:00

I think i spent this two weeks of holidays wisely. I have been out almost everyday. && i did alot of new things this holidays. Overnight, Overseas with friends & also went out for countdown for the ferst time. Honestly, im very happy with all these activities. Not to mention the family chalet at the start of the holidays. Its totally the most awesome holidays that i can remember.

& its back to school on Monday. Why does school have to come again so fast? Im not ready for ICAs, test & all the exams coming up. I dont want to go for attachment in February. & most importantly, i dont want to graduate so fast. Im left with a year plus & next year, i will be a staff nurse. Ouh god, im not ready at all! =S

Hello 2011!!

2011-01-01T23:53:00.004+08:00

I went to my ferst ever countdown celebration in 18 years. Hahaha. Pathetic i know but all these years i can never be bothered thanks to all the crowds and all. You can say the same to National Day too. Haa!

I dont know what made me changed my mind but i went out with boyfriend to see the fireworks. Went to watch Guliver's travel at causeway point ferst thanks to the free tickets given by sis. Ate at Pastamania and we took the bus to town. A damn long journey. We sat at the memorial park after walking around for a while. & yes i finally get to eat my fried mars bars after so long of craving for it. Sat around and we basically just talked for hours. New year set in & the fireworks were nice. Hee. Hang around for a while & train-ed back to Woodlands. Things didnt end so well for us. I feel damn bad, guilty & i just dont know what to say. It really made me think alot throughout the whole night.

But i guess things between us are fine now. Lets just hope things will get better for us in 2011. (:

I hope 2011 will be a great year for us all. I want to try to put in more efforts in studies. Before we know it, in april, its already our third year & i have this very strong I'm-not-ready-to-be-a-staff-nurse feeling. It really sucks man. :S

I also want to be happier and treasure people around me more. & i want to spend more time with family. I also hope for healthy & better life for everyone around me.

Lastly, i hope to pass my license by my birthday this year. Really hopeful for it. Just hope for the best. Pray for me people. (:

Happy 2011! Lets start the year positively aites. (:

Till we both drop!

2010-12-29T02:22:00.002+08:00

Went shopping with dearest Raudah. I think its the ferst ever shopping trip that we really had money with us. Haa! Waited for a long time for this!

Went shopping at Marina Square. I limited myself to buying just what i wanted to buy and that was dresses. It was really hard to not sidetrack and resist buying other things but i managed to overcome that temptation. Spent about 150 bucks on my items and im one happy girl but it also means that im nearly broke. HEHE!

Quality time spent with bestfriend was priceless. I mean its like we both are attached now and sometimes whenever we plan to meet up just the two of us, there will always be one of our partners there. Haa. && we dont usually meet up so often anymore thanks to our other half. Haa. But i still love you the best Sharifah Raudah Abdul Rahman! ((:

Itouch in January, sneakers in February, same shirt in March & more to come? I hope! Lets be awesome twins from head to toe Raudah! Hahaha!

Fifth!

2010-12-29T02:18:00.005+08:00

Happy fifth boyfriend!
Moving on fine & one of the longest relationship for me so far. HEE!
Yes i know we are always fighting these days.
I always hurt you & never really did understand you.
I want to turn things around for us.
Despite all these challenges, i still love you like how i always did.
Nothing will change this feeling for you.
I just hope we will stop fighting for once.
I wanna be happy with you always.
& i wanna be with you always.
ILOVEYOUBOYFRIEND (:

Freedom Overseas!

2010-12-27T02:15:00.001+08:00

Went to Batam with my close friends from my class. My ferst ever overseas trip without parents. What an achievement! Hahaha! Kae shuddup. So anyway, i was half an hour late to meeting them. Hee. I think they are used to it already.

I totally hate overseas customs. The male officers always flirt with me. Its stupid how i was the ferst in queue to have my passport checked but end up being the last to finish cos the guy was busy asking me questions instead of checking. Not to mention i had a hard time understanding their accent, its even better that i answered him in totally Singapore malay. Amek kau! Hahaha.

We went to three different shopping centres. The ferst two sucks big time! Hahaha. The one opposite the ferry terminal is the best. Plan to shop till we drop at DC mall failed cos theres totally nothing for us to shop for.

So in the end, we shopped at Mega Mall instead. The best part is we shopped at their supermarket! Hahaha. Most of the things are cheap so we shopped till we drop. Hee. Ai Ling with her balonglong, Xiu with her Kueh Lapis & Me with my keropok. Hahah.

Totally an experience for me. Ferst time overseas without any guidance. Hee. But i had fun & more to come. Genting next yeah people? (((:

Merry Christmas by the sea

2010-12-26T02:05:00.002+08:00

My ferst ever overnight with friends. New experience for me. HEHE!
Started the day by watching meet the little fockers at downtown with Raudah, Nas & boyfriend. Then treated both the boys to Hei Sushi. Damn bloody full i tell you. My ferst ever eating sushi in 5years due to bad experience in the past. Heh.

Then went to ECP, met up with the rest and thats where the fun begins. Though the time were mostly spent with just Raudah, Nas & boyfriend but i think we had lots of fun. From the time watching Ice Age to watching Raudah fall asleep to the gift exchange to the camwhoring to sitting by the seaside, i just had fun. && its really a nice feeling to know that my bestfriend (plus scandal HEHEHE!) and boyfriend are here with me. I felt really happy. HEE!

The next day didnt really end nicely though. I had cramps due to menses but we managed to get home after lunch. & boyfriend was so wonderful so as to carry my bag all the way throughout the journey. Hee.

Thank you, you three awesome people! Im really happy to have spent my ferst overnight with people close to me. && i really had lots of fun with you guys. ((:

Finally a long awaited break!

2010-12-21T23:43:00.004+08:00

2 weeks holidays are here. Lots of plans lined up. I just hope they will happen. I want to spend my two weeks wisely. I wanna enjoy as much as i can. Hopefully things will go according to plan. (:

Nothing much happening in my life these days. Family is just the same though i find parents irritating at times but tats normal right? Friends are the same too i guess. Been hanging out with Raudah & Nas plus boyfriend lately. I dont know what happened to my dearest Faris. Ouh well..

Things between me & boyfriend are fine too. We have our misunderstanding here and there but other than tat, we are still strong and happy together. Fifth month coming soon and i myself is surprised tat we managed to last till now. Hee. Hopefully things will be the same in the future.

My life is so packed with school right now. Going home late sometimes thanks to projects and what not. Im dying from all the school nonsense. Gimme space to breathe school! Therefore i wanna enjoy the holidays before it becomes more busy when school restarts again. No one can stop me! Muahahaha! :P

I won't fall out of love, I fall into you

2010-12-11T00:47:00.003+08:00

I dont know what happened but these days i just lose my temper easily on boyfriend or i just have no mood to talk. We end up having misunderstanding. & thanks to my paranoid-ness & insecurities, i gave him a whole bunch of nonsense shits.

The fact that hes very patient to me made me realised how stupid i have been with him. To think i always hurt him with my words and actions. To think i never actually sit back and reflect on what he has done for me before lashing out at him.

Ouh no, imma bad girlfriend! :((

Day Twelve; Baby You're A Firework

2010-12-02T23:02:00.004+08:00

Finally my suffering is coming to an end.
Twelve days has past by so slowly.
I cant wait for tomorrow.
Finally i get to see you once again baby.
I really do miss you.
I never want to be separated from you ever again baby.
It will drive me crazy without you.
I love you darls. (:

Day Eleven; Can You Feel Me When I Think About You?

2010-12-01T21:55:00.005+08:00

You're coming back tomorrow like finally.
I can't wait for Friday.
I wanna hug you as much as possible.
I miss having you next to me.
I miss staring at your face.
I miss having you to text me all day long.
I want to pass forward to Friday please.
& yes, i love you lots like i always do Babylove! (:

Day Ten; Baby You're The Best I Ever Had

2010-11-30T22:43:00.003+08:00

Somehow i learnt to treasure you better than before.
I guess its true that absence make the heart grow fonder.
I promise to treat you better when you come back baby.
No more silly fights or misunderstanding.
We should start compromising with each other so we will be happy together.
& i promise that no matter what happens, you will still be the only one i love.
All i want right now is to see you smile & laugh.
I love you baby!
Two more days. Woots!

Day Nine; Fourth Month Together, First Ever Without You

2010-11-29T20:58:00.003+08:00

Happy Fourth Baby!
To think we have come this far.
Nothing can hide the sadness i feel without you here close to me.
The fact that we hardly talk to each other for the past week makes me feel so sad.
Its like something so precious to me is missing.
Somehow i dont see my future without you.
You know i will always love you no matter what happens.
I miss you lots.
Three more days. I will be counting down dear.

Day Eight; Baby Please Don't Go.. If I Wake Up Tomorrow, Will You Still Be Here?

2010-11-28T13:57:00.005+08:00

I dreamt last night everything changed when you came back.
Things werent the same between us anymore.
You told me you didnt love me anymore.
I woke up worrying what if that really happen?
I dont know how i will survive.
But for now, i believe that wont happen.
Because we already promised that no matter what happens, we will always stay together.
I still hold on to that promise baby.
I love you dearest.
Four more days and you're back.
I can't wait. (:

Day Seven; A Day Without You Is Like A Year Without Rain

2010-11-27T22:25:00.004+08:00

Somehow when you text today, i was just feeling so sad.
Maybe because i miss you too much.
I just wanna hug you now.
All i want is for you to be with me now.
Its just driving me insane thinking about you.
And after seven days, im finally going to admit it.
Admit that i can no longer stand all these pain and loneliness.
Its just killing me.
I miss you. Come back fast baby! :(

Day Six; Cos You're Amazing Just The Way You Are

2010-11-26T23:53:00.003+08:00

Today i bought Magnum Gold & it just reminds me of you.
You always buy me chocolates & ice cream for the fun of it and when im mad.
& I love you for that.
I have been eating ice cream everyday since you left; somehow it just reminds me of you.
Damn baby. Its seriously killing me not being able to talk to you for two days.
I really miss you.
Whenever i see couples, i always think about you.
Can you come back now? :(

Life as I know it

2010-11-25T23:01:00.004+08:00

A quick update on my busy life right now. Haa. Im sorry to those who are bored by my post of my boyfriend. Cant help it. :DD

One month attachment at TTSH over 2 weeks ago. New environment, new friends. I managed to adapt by the end of the ferst week. Thank god staffs i worked with in the ward were fun and easy to approach. CI was well i should say firm but at times she is nice. I enjoyed my ferst posting at TTSH though there were some matters that irritate me at times. I just hope my next posting will be the same like this one.

Back to school now. Its been about 2 weeks. Sad to say i have been sleeping in all the lectures because im just so sleepy whenever lecturers start talking. Its seriously worst than last semester. Not to mention having to start at 8am every monday to wednesday. Lack of sleep at night adds up to my wanting to doze off in lectures. I seriously wanna change this attitude of mine. Mentor gave a good advice. She told us that we are near the end rather than the start of the course right now. So just give your everything and lock our GPA as high as possible. Somehow i think what she says make sense. I should just give my all since im already finishing in about a year plus. Hmm... Something to consider in changing my studying attitude.

Friends are still the same. Im still as close to my group of friends in school. && though besties are busy, we make time to at least text each other every other day. I miss you two. Meet up soon aites. (:

Boyfriend in Indonesia for overseas training for 12 days. Left with just seven days for him to come back. Cant wait. :DDD

& for now, i just wanna spend more time with my family as much as i can. ((:

Day Five; I Didn't Know How Much I Miss You Until You Were Gone

2010-11-25T22:33:00.004+08:00

Damn baby. I miss you so much.
It feels so lonely when you dont text.
I miss you damn bad. :(
& suddenly i just feel like im falling in love with you all over again.
Whenever i think about our memories, it just makes me smile.
I cant wait for you to come back.
I want to see your smile & laughter.
I wanna hug you.
I wanna kiss you.
I wanna relive our happy moments together.
You know i will always love you. (:

Day Four; You Are The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine

2010-11-24T22:35:00.004+08:00

Today's really frustrating cos i keep not getting the messages he sent.
& it didnt occur to me as to how expensive my bill will be until Rena reminded me just now.
But the only thing on my mind right now is i miss him too much.
Its good enough im slowly going back to the same old girl i used to be.
Im seriously keeping myself busy these days to avoid thinking too much about you.
Four days down, eight more to go.
I really cant wait for you to be back, dear. (:

Day Three; If I Had You

2010-11-23T21:44:00.002+08:00

Im learning to not miss you so much.
Im learning to let go of things slowly.
Im learning to keep myself busy so i dont think so much about you.
It makes me go crazy whenever you text even for a while.
God knows how much i wanna hug you right now.
Im hoping things will get better in days to come.
Nine more days to go.
You know i will always be here waiting for you to come back.
Miss you lots. (:

Day Two; I Need You

2010-11-22T21:23:00.002+08:00

I went to school today feeling dead.
Even people around me can sense the difference and they were asking why.
I tried to cheer up but somehow things were different.
My phone hardly rang today and even friends noticed.
I tried keeping myself busy to the extend of going jogging and gym with classmates.
But somehow i just miss you.
I dont know if you're doing fine.
I dont know what you're doing right now.
I just hope things are great for you there.
I miss you. Badly. :((

Day One; Without You

2010-11-21T21:42:00.002+08:00

I woke up today wanting to text you good morning like i always do.
I woke up today hoping to see your text.
And then i realized, you werent here.
I spent the whole day thinking about you.
I miss you.
Dont worry. I still hold on to our pinky swear.
I love you.

Can we turn back once again..?

2010-11-21T03:43:00.003+08:00

The fact that my heart just sank when i left you just now.
The fact that i tried so hard not to cry in front of you.
The fact that im still awake at this time just thinking about you.
IM ALREADY MISSING YOU. Baby, come back faster please. :(

For the better

2010-11-07T22:27:00.003+08:00

Honestly things hasnt been great between us. We, or should i say me are either unhappy or mad these days. And then when we meet, i would give that pissed off attitude and i cant be bothered to talk because im too angry. But things changed yesterday.

When i met him yesterday, the ferst thing he asked of was for me to stop being angry and giving this kind of attitude. I cooled down and agreed and thats where things changed between us.

Honestly i can say, its been so long since i was happy with him. Its been so long since we really laughed and joked. God knows how happy i was yesterday.

And today before he left, he thanked me. He thanked me because for the past two days i have been different. He said that ever since we got together, the past two days was the best that i treated him and that made him happy. Well i got to agree to that too. Haa.

I just want us to be happy together. Im sick of fighting all the time. I just hope things will change from now on. No more fighting. No more jealousy. Because no matter what, i promise my heart will never stray. It only has you inside and thats not about to change.

THIRD! (:

2010-10-29T00:11:00.001+08:00

HAPPY THREE MONTHSARY LOVE! (:
Im proud to say that this is the only relationship to pass the three months mark in 4years. An achievement for me! :D
Its amazing to see how we stood strong despite all the fights and misunderstanding between us.
Its even more amazing to see how my feelings never change despite all these problems. If it was the past, i would have already let go of everything earlier.
But im glad i held on to our love.
I dont know how life would be like without you from now on.
I dont know how i will survive when you leave for Indonesia next month.
I love you always & i love you forever! (:

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

2010-10-24T22:36:00.003+08:00

For the ferst time ever, i cried in public.
For the ferst time ever, i cried in front of a guy.
For the ferst time ever, i cried in front of my boyfriend.
& the only words that could come out of my mouth was sorry.

Anyone?

2010-10-23T23:30:00.004+08:00

Honestly im tired of everything right now. I just feel like giving up but i know i cant. I have come to the point where whatever thats gonna happen can just happen. I dont give a damn about it anymore. The fact that im always so tired and get angry easily these days doesnt help much. I just need someone. Someone to give me all of their attention and concern. It isnt much to ask for is it?

Belated 2nd Month Celebration

2010-10-10T01:00:00.001+08:00

Our belated 2nd month celebration last Saturday. Believe it or not, its like our second date together. Yeah, kinda sucky but its good enough being able to meet during the weekends and spend time together. (:

Met up in the morning and off we went to settle some passport stuffs for him. Then train-ed to Orchard and we ate McD. I finally got to eat my double filet o fish. Hahah. Then we went to watch the other guys. A damn funny show. Haa. Went to OG after that to find his shoes. I was damn shocked when his friends saw us and actually tagged along for a while. I swear i wanted to run away when i know they were tagging along. But they left a while later when boyfriend didnt really entertain them. Hahaha.

Walked all the way from Orchard to Marina Square. I was damn tired but i kept quiet. Hahaha. Walked around for a while and then we went to find a place to sit down and talk. Camwhored like mad and then we train-ed back home. Settled some stuffs and we walked home from Admiralty.

Simple time spent together but i enjoyed it pretty much. Moments like these are what i treasure most especially when we had a misunderstanding the night before. (:

Sometimes i wished mum understand and give us more time to spend together. Its not like everyday we get to meet each other. Its just during the weekends. && that doesnt include the time given to family and friends too. This is the reason why im willing to actually come home late despite reminders and getting scolded later on. Its hard trying to talk to people who still live with mindset of the past, isnt it? =S

All about school

2010-10-09T01:07:00.000+08:00

Polyclinic posting over like finally. One week past quite fast. Though we did absolutely nothing, i guess i did learnt alot during this posting. && ouh, the cute babies i get to see during the posting. Plus i became a lazybum; cabbing home twice after work due to laziness. && its my last attachment with Nabilah & Geri. Im damn sad about it cos they have been the ones im with for the past attachments. && now i have to adapt to a new environment with new friends. Will definitely miss them alot. :(

Ouh, did i mention results were out? I did erm... ouhkae? I maintain my GPA but i was expecting to do abit better but ouh well, good to know i managed to pass every modules. Most importantly, I passed adult nursing. Damn. The whole burden of worrying was lifted off my shoulder when i saw that i pass adult nursing. Next semester i must work harder and not skip lectures like no one's business. ((:

Long awaited treat! (:

2010-10-07T00:53:00.000+08:00

Finally after 6months of waiting, i finally got my birthday treat from Faris on Monday. && yeah, its damn worth the wait i should say. Hahah. So its a treat from Faris for Raudah's and my birthday. Ate at Earl's Swensens after lots of plan changing. We ate damn lots i say. To the extent that the fries remained untouched and most of the food had lots of leftovers. We actually cabbed home after that cos we just too full.

Thank you Faris for the treat. I truly appreciate it. I love you! (:
&& I love you too Sharifah Raudah! (:

Sleepover!

2010-09-30T23:48:00.000+08:00

Raudah slept over the night before. Went to watch Grown Up at night at Bishan though mum was naggy about it and i was feeling damn sick. The movie was awesome! Damn funny. Hahaha. Then we spent half the night talking nonsense and online. Hahah. Till mum told us to sleep at around 3. So we played wrestling and irritate each other with nonsense sleeping style. Hahaha. Watched MTV and one MV totally made us sleepy. Lols.

Woke up the next day and im down with fever. We slept through till 1.30pm. As usual, mum was naggy about it also. Then since i was sick, we lazed around and watch tv the whole day. I mean it man. The whole day stuck in front of tv. Haha. She left at night.

SORRY SHARIFAH RAUDAH IF THE SLEEPOVER WAS BORING. I REALLY HAD NO IDEA I WAS GOING TO FALL SICK. I MAKE IT UP NEXT TIME AITE. PROMISE! :(

Raya with sec sch clique!

2010-09-30T22:45:00.000+08:00

Raya with Sec sch clique on Monday. Nice to see them once again after so long. Went to 5 houses & we lepak at each house like damn long la. Hahaha. But had lots of catching up and stuffs.

The only thing i remembered most was at 'Ayuni's house when Malek was asking if i remembered anything bad about him during sec sch. I told him no but then it reminded me of the lower sec memories where i was bullied for no reason. Haa. Damn it. I will never forget that. Somehow i cant and will never ever forget that.

Ouh well, anyway we all had fun. So catch up soon aites dear friends. (:

SECOND! (:

2010-09-29T01:28:00.003+08:00

Happy 2nd monthsary dear! (:
Glad things between us are still fine & going strong.
I love how we can just fight & make up soon after.
I love how we talk about scared of losing each other everytime.
I love how we love to irritate each other with nonsense.
I love how we spend time together even if its for a short while under my block.
I love how you put your hands around me & let me know that you love me & will always be there.
&& most importantly, I love everything about you.
Thank you for everything you have done for me.
Thank you for the love and care.
Thank you for changing my mind to be in love once again.
I know that theres always alot of challenges in our relationship but i love you very much baby & thats all that matters right now. (:

Finally after so long...

2010-09-25T23:44:00.001+08:00

Finally after so long, i get to meet Nuraini Wahid! The last i saw her was like during Elly's birthday party. Shes one busy girl i tell you. Hahah.

So we went town and window shop. I introduced her to Fried Mars Bars & now shes addicted to it. Hahaha. Then we went to Peninsula & i finally bought a birthday present for boyfriend. Hahaha. Thats way long overdue. && i also bought him an advance 2nd month gift. Heh.

We did lots of catching up. Simple time spent together. & i love it. More to come i hope, Noni?

Ouh btw, boyfriend loves the gifts. Thank you Noni for helping me with the choosing. (:

Messing with my mind

2010-09-22T23:37:00.003+08:00

Theres two things im really worried about right now. Its killing me just thinking about it. I try to keep my mind off it but its really hard.

I seriously need to learn to save up once again. This month alone, i have overshot my spending by 250bucks. And its bad enough to know that i already need to save up extra because of the laptop i bought recently. Worst, i dont even know wheres the money gone to. Next pay will be hard cos i plan to keep 2/3 of the pay to make up for the 250 used. So this month no happy happy shopping for me. :((

I lost something given to me by someone. It may mean nothing much but i actually treasure the gift. It sucks as its quite expensive. Im at a lost as to what to do. Buy a new one to replace it? Hmm..

2010-09-19T14:03:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i just want you to myself. Just alone with me, away from everything else. But i know its hard. You're in camp during weekdays & your weekends have to be divided for friends, family and me. It hurts me having to see couples going out so easily most of the time while i have to be content if i get to meet you once or twice per week. Somehow it kills me inside but i try my best not to let it affect me. & sometimes, i just wish you understand me better.

2010-09-17T23:28:00.002+08:00

Bowling with friends on Wednesday. Awesome time spent. Funny things happened & we had a great laugh. How Malek & me kept fighting for the top spot. How Faris the first timer can do better than Nas & Raudah. How Raudah, Malek & Faris kept messing up people's games. && the best of all, how Nas pushed Raudah lightly & she fell like a rotten pineapple. HAHAHAH! I hope more outings to come in the future. :D

Movies on Thursday with besties and boyfriend. Watch House of Horrors. Not scary at all but i hugged on to boyfriend because i was afraid i would get shocked if something just popped out and screamed like no one's business. Turns out boyfriend was more scared than me. =.-!! Hahaha. Hanged out at Woodlands Mart with Atikah after that. Ate desserts but me & Raudah were too busy trying to find McD & 7-11 so we kinda missed all the story telling. Lols.

Im stuck at home today. Damn tired for no reason. Raya outing tomorrow. It better be fun & short. Next week better be fun! I need activities! Ask me out people!!

2010-09-15T02:05:00.001+08:00

Girls always want to be told and convinced.

They always want the security and assurance that the eyes and heart does not and will not stray.

They always want the security and assurance that they are still the one no matter how long you have been together.

2010-09-10T17:07:00.002+08:00

SLAMAT HARI RAYE!!!! & im stuck at home. As promised, i spent half the day eating, sleeping and online. I swear im bored to death. Now im complaining ouhkae. No more exams so nothing to study. No more school so i dont have any presentations or assignments to stress about. Hahaha. Ouhkae maybe its a good thing la. Time for me to rest & laze around like nobody's business. Time to date me people. Please ring me up & set a date. I will gladly go out with you. :D

So anyway, Slamat Hari Raye my dear friends! Maaf zahir dan batin. Andai kate tersilap kate ke terkasar bahase atau ter-apape yang menyakitkan hati, ku mintak maaf banyak-banyak yer. :DD

2010-09-10T02:29:00.001+08:00

IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING TODAY. :(

2010-09-07T23:17:00.002+08:00

4 freaking papers down. I swear im having a hard time for exams this semester. Brain is rusty and no info can be retain. I hate exams. 1 more to go. Im sure we can do it right?

My time are spent with Raudah these days. Damn fun. Its been so long since we actually really hang out together. And omg, maken besar maken burok siak perangai. Hahaha. You know i know la ehh. Next year tak bleh gini tau. Haha. && we are always irritating each other. Damn funny i tell you. I love how our friendship is right now. I dont care what others might say about us anymore. It doesnt matter as long as we have each other. I hope more hang outs to come berok! ILOVEYOUIRRITATINGTAKMANDIBESTIE! <333

2010-09-06T15:58:00.002+08:00

Everyday i love you more and more.
& I have never ever regretted getting together with you.

2 more freaking papers. Then im free for the semester for good. Like finally i need a break. Plan to Genting with classmates are up. Mum seems fine with it. Just gotta ask dad. I hope it will work.

& Raya? It doesnt seems interesting for me this year. I dont know where the mood has gone to. && im having that same bored feeling that i have for the past few years for having to stay home on the first day. BORING! Can you imagine sleeping and lazing around on the first day of raya? Well.. thats what i have been doing for the past few years. :D

2010-09-05T00:08:00.003+08:00

My pillar of strength.

Honestly my patience is running thin right now. Im totally giving up on everything. Im reaching that point where i dont wanna bother about others anymore. It doesnt matter if others are unhappy. But then again, I know i cant bring myself to do it and thats when people take advantage of it. && im so stupid as to let people get all over me. & it doesnt help that i have to keep all these pain and sufferings to myself. I want to burst out for once even though it might sound rude. Let go of all the pain and suffering to that person who caused it. No point telling some other people cos they cant do much. I just want that person to understand what i feel like right now. Sometimes for once, i just want someone to really show that they really care for me. Just once... Anyone?

2010-08-29T22:47:00.002+08:00

Happy first monthsary baby!
Honestly im still trying to adapt myself to being in a relationship cos its been 15months since i was in one.
Thank you for being patient with me.
Thank you for all the love and care you have given me.
Im trying my best to be a good gf.
I hope we will go far.
I love you lots. :))

2010-08-23T14:39:00.002+08:00

Attachment ended. Huge relief for it. But i have to say IMH posting is the best ever posting. The most slackest but yet enjoyable. Theres nothing to do except for interacting with the patients, playing games and observing here & there. I have seen cases whereby some patients had been there for so long. Theres one uncle who has been there for TEN years. Can you believe it? & the worst cases are those who are left abandoned there. I had one patient going around telling us hes going home today and only to find out hes still there the next day. Nurses told us that his dad dont want him to come home and has avoided to pick up the calls ever since. And i feel sad whenever he come to me and ask about Raya. He said he wanted to go Geylang and buy baju raya and all. I couldnt bear to answer him, having to know the real truth. I feel that in years to come, if i still wanna stay in Nursing, i might just work in IMH. We shall see how things goes yeah. && i learnt patience is the most important thing to have in order to work there. Theres some patients that will talk non-stop 24/7. It gets irritating at times cos what they say are nonsense. & thus because of all these, i had created alot of sins during the fasting month. Tak sengaje ouhkae. :DD

Something happened to me last Tuesday & it got me all paranoid till now. I turn around every few minutes when im walking alone. Thank god for bro. He fetches me every now and then since the incident. Thank you! Girls, be careful when you're alone alritey. :)) I just hope the man will rot in hell. Damn you!

Exams coming up and revisions are sucky ttm. I dont understand a single damn thing. && i just cant focus. Sucks. I just hope to pass everything. Thats all i want right now. God, please help me through. Lets work hard Nursing peeps! :))

Im glad to say me & boyf are doing fine. Hee. After so long, i finally got back into a relationship & i dont regret one bit. Though there are times things arent right, but i have a feeling this relationship will go far. && yeah, i finally got over Shah & i dont think about him anymore. A good start i guess. :D

2010-08-06T23:32:00.002+08:00

Last day of school. Yeayness! I had an awesome plus sucky day. Had only one class in the morning then hang out with classmates during the 3hours break. Pizza treat by Ms Veronica was nice. Not all lecturers would do that. So it was sweet of her to treat us. :D

Had the last of elective. Funny to see all my group members rushing to copy each others' answers. We all panicked & suffered from copying too much and too fast. Had Napfa & thank god i didnt faint. The weather was freaking hot & i was not well due to mensus. After that, went to support the entreprenuership group from my class. I nearly died there. They dragged me to the lecture hall to cool down. Felt much better & went home.

Im much better now. Busy weekends coming up. Elly's birthday party. Attachment next week. I can die. I need to rest but things keep clashing. Cant i just rest for a day without worrying for other things?

2010-08-04T00:12:00.002+08:00

I think friends are the only reason right now thats keeping me from going crazy thinking about you.
2weeks seems forever.
I hope you're fine, love.
I really miss you.

2010-08-01T23:15:00.001+08:00

The start of something new; 29 JULY 2010.
Come back soon. I miss you lots.
Love you.

2010-08-01T21:55:00.002+08:00

I have been keeping myself busy. School, friends, driving lessons stuff. && all these things are getting me exhausted. Im getting lack of sleep & i keep falling asleep in classes. I have been getting home late thanks to group meeting & spending time with besties. Ouh well, at least keeping busy helps to keep my mind off some things & i dont regret it.

I passed 3 out of 4 BCLS modules. Damn the one man CPR. Im not really happy with the teacher but theres nothing i can do. Thank god Ms Dorothy took me for the infant part. I took 3 minutes to clear both choking and CPR. I think shes the best lecturer around. & i owe her alot.

School is ending. & then comes attachment. IMH, here i come! I hope to enjoy the attachment there. & its during the fasting period. Tak favourite langsung. Haa. But then again, i've been there, done that so shouldnt be much of a prob. The only sad thing im separated from Geri for this attachment. I dont know how im going to survive that part.

Elly is turning one next week & shes having a party. I feel pathetic cos 18 years living & i never had a birthday party before & yet at one year old, she already had hers. I have such boring parents? Maybe. =.='

Ouh well, my focus for now is my last presentation, BCLS theory test & one man CPR retest. All will be cleared by Wednesday & im all free. :DD

2010-07-26T21:59:00.002+08:00

For people who asked if im fine or not, yes im much better after crying & talking with my besties. & big apologies to besties for not telling earlier. I already explained things so yeahh..

School's fine. Just rushing. I swear im having a hard time catching up. And im always falling asleep in lectures nowadays. Back to square one. Sucks. && I have permanently end school at 3pm on tuesday when im supposed to end at 5pm. Thats because im so used to skipping adult nursing. God. This must not happen again. 3presentations down, 1 more to go.

BCLS test this friday. I just want to get the 4 modules done and over it. Then i can do CPR on anyone. Cheywah. Heheh. Theory next week & im free till attachment comes. Till now im still confused about attachment dates. Ouhh well...

School seems so dead today. I dont know why but i feel that everyone around me is either tired or sad. & thats enough to just pull my mood down too. Strange to see my usually talkative friends so quiet. Ouh well.. Its just not our day.

Two more weeks to go. Im sure i can do this. Even if i think i cant, i have to do it. Im having that losing the mood for school again. Sucks.

Had a talk with mum just now. Talked about how some cousins has changed.. for the worst. I assured her that im way different from them & that i wont be like them. Truth is, i detest people like them so why should i be like them right? Ouh well, im confident of taking care of myself. :))

2010-07-19T21:49:00.003+08:00

FUCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
I SWEAR I HATE YOU PEOPLE.
SCREW YOU GUYS FOR EVER BEING A PART OF MY LIFE.
SCREW MYSELF FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO CHANGE THAT.

So how many of you know that i cry myself to sleep every night?
How many of you know that im suffering deep inside?
How many of you even bother to know what im going through?
NONE. NONE AT ALL.
Trust me, im disappointed. ALOT.

2010-07-19T00:00:00.003+08:00

Sometimes everything around you doesn't feel right. Sometimes you just try so freaking hard to please them. Sad to say some people around me never appreciate the little things i ever did for them. They are the ferst to point out your mistakes and were always the ones who never said thank you. Sometimes i just want them to be there. And when i feel like giving up, i had always wanted them to tell me that they are always behind me no matter what happens. It isn't too much to ask for. Just because i'm independent doesn't mean i don't need anyone to not care about me anymore. I swear i'm wasting my time on them but i just can't bear to leave them in the lurch. FML for being a soft-hearted girl. FML for trying so hard to be there for them no matter how much it hurts me. FML for everything that has happened to me. Just FUCK IT.

2010-07-08T21:04:00.005+08:00

School sucks. Too many tests at one go. Not to mention the presentations piling up like no one's business. I failed skill test & im not happy about it. Partly my fault i admit for being damn nervous and losing myself halfway through. & im losing all the confidence i had for nursing. Failing three skills test in 2 years made me think that im just not meant to be in nursing. 5 years.. 5 freaking years to ending of school & finishing up my bond at TTSH and mark my words, i will think twice about continuing nursing. Whats the point of doing something i dont really have interest in? I find it a drag having to go for attachments. How am i suppose to face working life in time to come? Damn. I wished i was brave enough to fight dad when he insisted i join nursing. Trust me, I REGRET.

& where the heck is the support for me to pull through? None. Everyone is just too busy with their own stuffs now. I swear no one knows im suffering deep inside. I try so freaking hard to pretend everything is fine and people actually believe that fake smile of mine. Sometimes i envy Elly cos all the attention is on her all the time. Ouh well, lets face up. Im no longer that young girl who needs the attention from anyone. Ouh god, i really wish someone felt my pain right now.

Damn. It sucks having to type while crying.

2010-06-20T15:41:00.002+08:00

Freaking Cute!! Like the aunt! HAHAH.

Ouhkae so one week of holiday pass. I think i just wasted it? Haa. Been staying home for the past 3 days. I dont know why but i have been feeling so freaking tired. I can spend half a day sleeping and still feel tired which leads to me lazy to go out. Sucks.

I spent the ferst 4 days of holidays at sjab camp. The fun part only came when i ate McD at 2am with Raudah & Faris & we thon the whole night. & also not to forget meeting my old mates. The heart to heart talk between me, Atikah, Raudah, Sofian & Redzuan was cool. Haa. Hopefully we will meet again since most of us are planning to come back next year.... NOT! Haa.

Went to watch Karate Kid after camp with Raudah & Faris. & for the ferst time i overslept. Hahaha. Thank god Faris called if not i dont think i can make it in time. Hee. The show was awesome la. Lets start practising ouhkae Faris? Haha.

& my coming week is gonna be packed with school stuffs. Class volunteer, extra nursing lab class & study for all the test & practical coming up. Its totally a nice holiday. =.=

2010-06-08T22:03:00.004+08:00

My 6 months was wasted. I was seriously hoping for something to happen out of us but you never really convince me that you wanted it. You never really convince me that you were really into me. It was the only one thing that stopped me from being together with you. What you said yesterday really cut me through. Honestly its been so long since i feel this way.

I feel that its better to not think about it anymore. It hurts that i had to find it out myself. It hurts worst to know that what i was thinking about was true. To me, when you love someone & like somebody else, it means that that someone is never good enough for you that you had the chance to like somebody else. Dont tell me you wont fall for her cos when you said you liked her, it already mean falling for her. When you said, you wont fall for her cos you made a promise to me that you will wait for me till im ready, did you mean that if you didnt made the promise, theres a chance you will fall for her? And dont tell me to decide if its over between us because all this wouldnt have started if you never liked her. Im sorry but i have lost my trust in you. & this feelings, they are not the same anymore.

& i hate how these things mess up my mind. I cant concentrate in school. I hate it when my mind run wild when im alone. :(

2010-06-06T21:29:00.002+08:00

I have awesome besties & im grateful for that.

Stargazing with besties the other day. Awesome time spent together & its been so long since i laughed my ass off. Thank you for that. :)

So finally after being sick for so long, i went to the doctor yesterday. I had viral infection which i had gotten before. So yeahh, plenty of rest, water & eating medication will help me. Hopefully i will get well in a few days time.

School is driving me crazy. Honestly im mixing up all the test dates. Its like the dates for the test are not announced properly so im kinda having a hard time trying to figure out.

Im skipping school on thursday to go Batam with sis & her friends. Its totally random & since my thursday is not so packed & theres no lab, i thought i could miss just one day. :DD

&& im coming back to WRS for camp this coming saturday if all goes well. It will be nice to see my mates again. Miss those CCA times. Haa.

Ouh well, lets chiong for the last week before the mid semester holidays begins. I need all the rest i can get.

2010-05-30T18:57:00.002+08:00

Im tired & sick. I have been having headaches for the past 1 week straight. It comes & goes & its irritating. Im finishing up all the panadols available at my house. & it didnt help when i vomitted at 3am in the morning yesterday. Sucks man. I wanna get well. Any kind souls nice enough to bring me to the clinic?

School is fine anyway. Been trying to stay awake in lectures & things are going smoothly. Hopefully it will stay like this for the rest of the years. Im loving my classmates. & Juvena, if you're reading this... I HATE YOU LOVER!! Always flirting with others. Hmph!!!!

Lets just hope i get well soon enough. Lots of stuffs coming up for the week & i seriously need to get well. :(

2010-05-20T23:27:00.003+08:00

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.

Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, therefore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.

Got this from a website. Damn true about what it says except for the creative & career part. Haha. Had mental health tutorial today and she touched something on this middle child syndrome. So this somehow explains why relationships dont last for me & why i have short attention span. Haa. :D

2010-05-17T21:47:00.002+08:00

ATTACHMENT OVER!!! Like finally. One month was a torture believe it or not. Paediatric posting was such a pain in the ass thanks to the CI. Seriously, she totally spoil my mood during the two weeks. Thanks to her, my whole posting was not an enjoyable one. Well, not just mine but the whole group. I will never forget how she nearly made me cried. Definitely the worst attachment i have been to so far. Theres nothing much for us to do since we havent learnt much. But on the other hand, i made new friends like always with the ite peeps. Nice to have them around. Thanks to them, im always laughing during attachment. & with all the children around, i feel so happy. But such a sad case to see those really ill children suffering & some with parents who doesnt want to visit them for so long already. Well, lets just say this posting made me think twice about going into paediatric nursing. & even if i do, NUH wont be my choice definitely.

Yana's birthday celebration last saturday. Nice to see my secondary school friends again. Made me recall back the memories we had. We had lots of fun but i was tired due to attachment so i was quite dead. Haa. Hope to see them soon again. :))

Its back to school today. I enjoyed ferst day. I got to see my class like finally. Gossip here & there. & i managed to stay awake for the whole day. Hopefully it will stay that way for the rest of the years to come. Haa. I wanna buck up so i must put in effort. :D

2010-05-02T20:30:00.004+08:00

A quick update. So trip to KL was awesome. My first ever plane ride & it was a nice experience. More to come i hope. We ate alot, i swear. From the breakfast buffet to Subway. Yes, Subway people. Nice you know. Heh. So spent the three days shopping at Masjid India area & Petaling Street. Not to forget Berjaya Times Shopping Mall. If only we had more time then we could explore more places & more shopping. Heh! Speaking of which, i miss the Nasi Goreng Telur Asin. Ouh god! It was heavens!! Hahah. Hopefully i can go KL again soon, this time with friends. :))

A big thank you to Raudah, 'Ayuni, Kobes & Atikah for the pleasant birthday surprise. Its the ferst time ever i had my birthday surprise & its definitely gonna be remembered for life. :)) Love you guys!

WITH CI AMBILY & SHEFALY

2 weeks gone so fast. Attachment was fine towards the end. Things were hard to get used to at first because we had absolutely no idea what O&G is all about. But at the end, i did learnt some stuffs. Both CIs were really nice & actually went the extra mile for us. I love them both. Thank you Shefaly & Ambily. & i will never forget CI Shefaly because she keep saying i was really pretty & kept asking if i had boyfriend. Lols. I love my friends at attachment, especially those who were in the same shift with me throughout. I love the ITE girls too & how we can just sit at the nurses' station & talk nonsense & gossip for hours especially during the afternoon shift. Such a waste we all have to separate after this.

Next up, Paediatrics ward. I heard the not so nice stuffs about the ward. Lets just hope it isnt true. 2 more weeks to go. It wouldnt be so bad right? Well, i survived 2 weeks already. What can another 2 weeks be?

BEST GOSSIP GROUP DURING WORK

2010-04-26T22:33:00.002+08:00

Busy, busy & busy.
Tired, tired & tired.

God, attachment is driving me crazy. Being in something that you're not familiar with is hard to adapt to. Doing fine for now i guess. Will update soon when im free. Now im stuck with presentations, research & whatnot.

2010-04-15T00:50:00.002+08:00

I think everyone in group A is going crazy. Unfair siaaaa. Finish one attachment, one week of holiday and another attachment coming again? This time much longer somemore. Damn sad can? Give us a break. At least make us come back to school for a week or so before sending us away. I miss my freaking classmates la. Yeahh, i miss school. I miss my friends. & I have to wait 2 months before i can meet Raudah in school. When i come back from attachment, its her turn to go. Toot! Thank god attachment this time even though its long, its paediatric ward plus obsteric & gynaecology ward. Something i have been looking forward to. Children & babies, here i come!! :DD

Leaving for KL tomorrow morning. Like yeayness! Lets just forget attachment for the next three days shall we? I need to get my unifrom ready before i leave. I dont think i will be bother to iron them when i come back.

So yeah awesome peeps, wait for my return kae? I shall update when im free which i dont think its soon. Haa. Take care & beep me on my phone if theres anything. :))))

2010-04-12T14:20:00.002+08:00

AWESOME! Im done with attachment. & i swear i love this attachment better than the previous one. The staffs are much more friendlier and are willing to teach us. Sister was super nice & made sure that our objectives for the attachment was achieved. & not to forget the patients that are damn funny. My last two days of attachment was spent mostly chasing after my patients who keep walking around & running away. Lol. We had to entertain our psychiatric patient whole day long. Damn funny la all his nonsense. A BIG THANK YOU TO NUH WARD 44 for your guidance in the past three weeks. :)

Yesterday was spent with dearest beloved clique. Plans went haywire. Raudah wanted to go Sentosa but she was going to join us late so i changed the plan & we went to Henderson Waves instead. Met up with Malek & Fiq who was super late. Haha. Train-ed to Vivo & met up with 'Ayuni & Zul. Shah came later. Went to eat at Banquet & then we went to HW. The journey up was super duper long. I swear i want to faint sey. Then we just hanged around & played card games. Yes, i keep losing. Hahah. Whatever la. Camwhored while waiting for Raudah. Since it was already quite late for some of them, we went to meet her & Nas at Vivo instead. Malek was pissed & wanted to break up. Lols la. Stayed for a while then we train-ed home together, leaving Raudah & Nas. Haha.

I had fun. Its been so long since we all meet up. I think we need to do this more often. I dont want us to be separated. I swear this is the best group of friends that i have ever had in my whole life. Thank you Raudah, 'Ayuni, Malek, Syafiq & not forgetting Farhan & Rabbani. You guys will never ever be forgotten. :)

That one regret i will have

2010-04-03T19:26:00.002+08:00

Heartbroken. Guilty. Regret.
These 3 words are all i can think of whenever i think of Jojo.
Heartbroken cos i lost something that has been close to my family.
Guilty cos if i didnt went out that day, things might have change.
Regret cos i never got the chance to make things up with Jojo & will never have the chance to do so anymore.

Though it was only less than 2 months with us, Jojo has certainly made a huge impact in our life. I was trying hard to adapt to life with Jojo. Never did i expect it to go before i could really accept it.

Jojo fell from the window of my bedroom on Tuesday night. I was out with my bro, Raudah & Shah when mum called. I swear i was kidding when i said i hope its true. When mum called again, bro immediately rushed home. & at that moment, i swear i regretted every single thing i had said.

I was always scolding & shouting at Jojo for behaving like a monkey. Now without Jojo at home, the house is like quiet. Sam has no one to play with. You can see the sadness in Sam's eyes & sometimes its sad to see Sam trying to find Jojo to play with. It took Sam quite a while to adapt to life with Jojo & now that he has, Jojo is gone. :(

Maybe if i didnt went out that day, this thing wouldnt have happened. But then again, if things were meant to be this way, i guess i cant change anything. Bro is the most badly affected. I feel sad to see him like this but i cant do anything.

Well, all i can say right now... RIP Jojo. You will always be remembered. We will miss you.

2010-03-27T13:09:00.003+08:00

One week of attachment over. Thanks to the SHS, the week passed by quickly. I was supposed to be on morning shift the whole week. I swear its a torture but then i switched shift with my friend yesterday so i could at least rest for a while.

So the SHS was fun. I was grouped with Nabilah, Ai Ling & Ei Leen & we were sent to Nan Chiau Primary School. It was fun being with them. Ei Leen & her porn nonsense. Haa. We went there to observe how things were being done during health screening. Cute la all these children. & funny to see how when one child cries during injection, all those behind her will start crying also. Damn funny!

So after two days at SHS, it was back to the boring ward. I was werking alone on Thursday. Thank god it was morning shift & there was alot to do. I was paired up with nice ANs so things were not so bad. Heh. Working with Nabilah yesterday was fun. She said i influenced her to do all the bad things. Sheesh. & A BIG APOLOGY TO SHARIFAH RAUDAH FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET YOU YESTERDAY. AKU TK BUEY LA. :((((

Two more weeks to go. Nine days more to go. Im on morning shift for the whole of next week. Bowling & pool with bro & Raudah on Monday. Heh. Book me early if you wanna meet me. Hahah. :D

2010-03-20T00:32:00.003+08:00

Pool & bowling with bro & Raudah today. Met up with Raudah at Tampines & we bus-ed to Safra. So we kinda taught Raudah how to play pool. Not bad for a first timer la eh. Hahaha. So after three games, we played bowling next. So we each won a game. & how suay can i get, always having 1 pin not being able to be knock down. Haa. Nevermind! Practice makes perfect so we are going again somewhere next week. Anyone wanna join? Lols. Pay your own fee kae? Hehehe.

So then took the bus to Tampines again. Ouhkae fine, my fault for taking the wrong bus to Tampines kae. It went the long way instead. Haa. Raudah fell asleep on the bus. Upon reaching, i woke her up & told her we are reaching. So i was about to alight then bro tap me and there Raudah was. STILL SLEEPING! WTH!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So anyway, we went to eat at Popeye. Heh. Then bus-ed back which we eventually missed the stop. Stupid laa. Hahahah. Ouhh well, shits happen sometime. Hehe.

Attachment starting next week & im so not excited for it. :S

2010-03-18T22:22:00.005+08:00

Honestly im sick of all these love story. I hate the fact that no matter how much he hurt me, i keep coming back & loving him like i always do. This time, i really hope to move on. I dont wanna get hurt. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to smile. So for once, im gonna do something for myself.

So people told me if its meant to be, he will come back to me one day. But that one day might not be in the near future. It might be 5 or 10 years down the road. So yeah, i will learn to let go. Because right now, i believe if its meant to be, he will come back. If not, theres a reason as to why people in our past doesnt make it to the future. Besides, its his loss for choosing those girls who can only love him for a short period of time rather than me. Sometimes i pity him for being so stupid but then again, i was even more stupid to waste years on him. Ouh well, it isnt the first time this happen anyway.

Let everything now be a part of my past; a part of my memories. My first love will always hold a special place in my heart. & definitely, my first love will never be forgotten, thats for sure. MSN <3

2010-03-17T23:20:00.002+08:00

Pretty bored these days. Stayed home for the past three days. Trying to clean my room up but everytime i wanna get started, i get distracted & lastly i become lazy. Haa. Ouhh well, lets hope i can get motivation before attachment starts.

Attachment starting next week. I dont know if i can stand it since my world has already turn upside down. Im sleeping during the day, awake at night. Lols. I think i can live with the night shift. Haa. Ouh well, lets hope for the best. :))

KL trip is confirmed. Like finally im going on a holiday after 8 long years. Haa. I booked the flight & hotel all by myself. Chey chey. Heheh. So i will be away from 16 to 18 april. When i come back, its school the next day. Year 2, here i come & i hope it will be a better year. Well, not really hopeful though. Haa.

2010-03-16T00:08:00.002+08:00

Out with BF yesterday. Went to Jurong Point to watch Naz compete in some breakdance competition. Then we went off due to too many a-bang-la & walked around JP & i keep trying to convince Raudah we went there before. Hahah. Ate at LJS. Raudah's treat cos i was kinda broke. Heheh. Thanks babe. Then went back to Woodlands & Raudah shared about some stuffs. I keep trying to brainwash her into becoming a lesbian with me. Hehehe. & we went stargazing. My first time ever & it was nice. It was like so peaceful. We camwhored like mad. Hahah. Pictures are at facebook. Go check it out ouhkae? I love my BF alot alot!

2010-03-13T22:48:00.003+08:00

I went out with Noni on monday. Had lots of fun & catching up. Lols. Went to Far East to get some of my stuffs then we had lunch at KFC. Noni & her forever craving at KFC. Tsktsk. Then off to bugis cos Noni wanted to get a top. Dont know where else to go so we took the bus home to Woodlands. My hands are itching to shop again but this time i controlled. Lols. A short day spent with her but was worth it every single minute. :)))

Thursday was spent with dearest classmates. It was supposed to be a class gathering actually. But most of the foreigners went back home, some on holidays, some cant make it & the rest bubble us as usual. Haa. So the ones who turned up are the regulars; Me, Jihan, Fathiah, Nabilah, Ai Ling, Xiu & Ei Leen. Went to eat at SG at Ngee Ann City. Then went to Far East cos Ei Leen wanted to get a comb. Lols la. She made us walked all the way there just to get a comb. Haha. Then went to watch Cop Out. I got through for a M18 movie la seyy! Haha. Damn funny la the movie. Worth it to watch. Hee. Then we sat around for a while to think of something to trick our classmates into coming for class outing next time. Lols. Separated & went home with Ei Leen & Nabilah.

I went swimming with my family today. Brought elly along. Wahhh.. this time she not so scared anymore & keep splashing the water non-stop. Adorable la ehh. Haa. & yeay! I can finally swim a lil. Way better than the last time i went. Hee. Got home & bro dragged me to jogging cos hes having napfa test on monday. I managed to run 3 rounds without stopping. Hee. Im improving & im happy about it. Hee.

Not much of plans for the last week of holidays before attachment. I wanna stay home & please my mum before i go MIA for 3 weeks. Haa. :DD

&& family are planning for a short get away to KL! Hee. Hopefully it will happen since i didnt get my chalet this time. Damn. How long since i went on a holiday? I think the last time was in p4 siakkk. Omg!! So long. Ouh daddy, pls make my wish come true this time. :DD

2010-03-08T01:02:00.002+08:00

I seriously hate the dream i had just now. I mean like seriously. I did a great job on forgetting him after so freaking long so why did he have turn up in my dream suddenly? Not to help that the dream was something i have been hoping for so long. Ahhhh, damn it. Thanks to the dream, now im missing him again. Why is it that you must make a great impact on my life? I seriously hate you for that Shah. =(((

2010-03-07T23:49:00.002+08:00

Its the only perfect picture i can find. Haha.

Last saturday was spent with Faris & Raudah at Vivo. Met up with Raudah early in the morning to watch Faiz's band perform for iTalent competition. Something stupid happen during the train ride which should only be known by me, Raudah & Faris. Hahaha. Then met up with Faris & we went to watch Dear John. Touching to the extent people around us were crying, including guys. Hahah. Just that the ending was alil sucky. Lols. Then we went to eat at Ben & Jerry. This was part of Faris' birthday treat so my dear friend, i hope you enjoy it. Then we planned to go Henderson Wave but plans were cancelled thanks to dear bro. Got me rushing all the way from Vivo to my aunt's house only to find out they were going to another aunt's house so i had to wait downstairs. Damn pissed & obviously i didnt tagged along to the other house cos it will only piss me further. Went home with bro & shopped at causeway for a while. Went home & then met up with Raudah & Faris again at night to eat. Hahah.

The week went pretty fine i guess. Met up with Noni on wednesday to alter my nursing pants. Then met up with Raudah to have some catching up. Lols. The rest of the week was spent with Elly, elly & more of ellyphant.

Yesterday was spent with bro. It was a last min plan. Went to safra tampines cos he wanted to play pool. Since there were many people, we played bowling ferst. Like cool shit eyy. I won both games. Heheheh! Then we played pool. Bro won 2 games while i won 1. Nevermind. I will do better next time. Haha. Then we went to Tampines to windowshop. Bought some stuffs & bought bro 2 shirts. See? Im a nice sister ouhkae. Haha.

My whole of the coming week is gonna be packed. Going to town with Nuraini tomorrow. Hee. Finally Farhan gonna teach me to play guitar on Wednesday. Class outing on Thursday. & maybe bowling & pool again on friday or saturday. Hee. Ouh well, if you wanna go out with me, just text me. Lols. :D

I can't take it any longer

2010-03-03T01:08:00.002+08:00

I swear im irritated. Its like when i care for someone & ask for their well being, they just seems to think i like them. Like come on guys, once i say i dont like you means i really dont. Im only willing to be close friends and you're lucky enough if i do treat you as a close friend. Wake up!!

Holidays havent been really fine, seriously. I spent my days taking care of Elly. God, show me an 18 year old kid who spends the holidays at home taking care of her niece. Show me an 18 year old kid who goes home straight after school everyday to take care of her niece. I bet you will never find one.

Somehow, this is slowly becoming a burden to me. Its like im restricted to my own freedom. I cant do much. I cant go out much cos theres no one to help my mum take care of Elly. How many times have i turn down outings with the reason theres no one to help take care of Elly? Plenty. There have been times too when i was out with friends & i had to go home halfway to help my mum with Elly. I thank god for having such understanding friends at that moment of time. & god knows how i studied during exams.

&& i hate it when people use reverse psychology on me. Hell yeah that works all the time cos i always have a soft spot for hurting others. Its like im bent on doing my own stuffs and then came along some people who ask if i dont pity my mum taking care of Elly alone. Ouh yeah, i do. I do pity my mum but who the heck pities me then? Who the heck is gonna make up for my social life? Yeah everyone is tired but who said i was a superwoman who never gets tired? Dont get me wrong. I love Elly. I love my mum. & yes, i do enjoy taking care of Elly but lets face it, its not something i should be doing all the time. Im a teenager who needs a social life & i dont want to weigh all these responsibility on me. I dont mind it happening once in a while but i do mind if it happens all the time, everyday.

Damn. I dont mean to offend or hurt anyone but i just need to let it off my chest. Its like everything is kept inside for so long & im on the verge of breaking down. Sis, if you happen to read this, i hope you understand.

Im rotting at home man. I need to go out. Anyone?

2010-02-25T21:50:00.002+08:00

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!! Need i say more? I can smell freedom! Free for 3 weeks then attachment.

Papers were actually pretty fine except for the last one. I swear i wanna kill whoever that gave us the wrong tips. Ouh well, i just wanna pass all modules & maintain my GPA. There goes my 3.0 GPA again. :(

Outings, dates, shopping! I want them all! I want to meet people i miss! Sadly, I cant go out with Raudah much thnks to the different schedule of attachment. :(

Im so gonna catch up on my sleep. Im deprived of them. Now im gonna slack like no one's business. :D Will update soon aites. TC! :))

2010-02-16T01:58:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i feel pathetic. Sometimes i feel so stupid. Looking back into the past, how stupid i was to have wasted my time on someone who didnt even bothered about me. I was blinded.. blinded by love. I wasted a year plus waiting for someone who didnt even realised i existed. He was the one who made me lost all the trust in guys. He was the one who made me feel that love hurts very much. He was the one that made me feel scared to fall in love again. I hate him for making me hurt so much & giving me high hopes that came crumbling down right in my face.

& damn it ehh. I have been down on my luck on love lately. Look at the strings of crushes i had in the past 10 months i have been single. Just as i feel like hes the right one and i feel that i will be able to get into a relationship, shit happens. I always get their ugly side. & i thank god very much that i havent get into a relationship with them or i know it wouldnt last long.

& guess what? I realised i have this tendency to fall for younger guys. I dont know why but i can just fall easily for them. Haa. Weird i should say. So young guys, come & get me! HAHAHAHA.

Ouh, and whatever i have said here, its just random thoughts. Im not sad or whatever. Just wanna say it out. Thats all. :DDDD

2010-02-16T01:33:00.002+08:00

I went out with Faris & Syafiq last Wednesday. Faris wanted to survey for macbook. Damn it. I waited for the guys for like an hour la. Too bad i was from school, if not i would have taken my own sweet time. Haa. So yeah, went to eat first since i was damn hungry. Faris' treat. Thanks bro! Heh. Then went to Funan & started surveying. Syafiq & I tried so hard to brainwash him from buying macbook. We were about to succeed when the last shop we visited made him changed his mind. && Syafiq & me wanted to buy this Vaio lappy. So small and light that we can throw it around like frisbee. Haa. Then after that walked all the way from City Hall to Orchard to watch movie. We watched Law abiding citizen. The show was cool la but the killings were gruesome. Like eww. && Syafiq was trying to scare us during one of the part but he ended up shocked himself. Faris just couldnt stop laughing at him. Lols la. Took some pics & went back home. Time spent was definitely worthwhile. I miss secondary school life man. I miss my secondary school friends.

The next day was spent with Jihan & Fathiah. We just had nothing to do so we went to watch two movies. First was Valentine's day. Jihan kept saying she was Taylor Swift. Lols. Taylor Swift was like a bimbo in the movie. Very funny. & some love stories in the movie was touching. Then we went for late lunch before deciding on watching I hate Valentine's day. The second movie was funnier & i didnt regret watching it. Haa. After that, we walked from Orchard all the way to Esplanade but Fathiah wanted starbucks so we went to search for it all the way till Raffles then she changed her mind so we train-ed home instead. Seriously, we need to find something to do yeah people? Lols.

Weekends was spent with my family. Saturday was at my aunt's to help prepare for the bbq. Funny to see how Elly & Aqil fought over a toy. Lols.

I spent Valentine's day yesterday with my lil nieces and nephews for Aqil's birthday at ecp. Nice to see them after so long. And Bob got to meet me after so long of pestering to meet me. Hahah. He didnt realise it was me at first till i smiled at him. We didnt talk much cos we didnt want my cousin to know we're friends. Haa. Paisey la. I had fun seriously. I had a sharing session with my niece. & i emo-ed at the beach for a while. Lols. I wanna sit at the beach again la seyy. Anyone? Haa. I cant wait for my birthday chalet. Hopefully its gonna be successful. :)

I should start studying tomorrow. Im already in the holiday mood when exams has not even started. Haa. So wait long long for my next update aites. Heh. :D

2010-02-08T21:49:00.002+08:00

Chacha turns 6months today! Damn fast if you ask me. Cant wait when she learns to talk and walk. Its totally gonna be havoc. Lols.

Finally, all essays, presentations and tests are done!! Im free for now. Semestral exams starting next friday. Lets hope i have the mood to start studying early. Hopefully i get better tips for bio this time. :D

I have been going jogging with siblings these days. I enjoyed it cos i can run quite a distance compared to last time. I hope theres more to come. Anyone wanna join us? Hahaha.

Im off to my addiction of FB games. God, i have to stop man. Take care people. :D

2010-02-06T12:33:00.003+08:00

Finally i found the mood to blog. :D

So finally im done with all the retest and what not. I pass my HA yeah. Funny how Mdm Wong & Mdm Loi tried so hard to save us from getting robot leg. Lols. But i totally appreciate their efforts and i swear i love them. They actually sacrificed lunch and went to assess us even though they were not suppose to on that day.

I went on a mini shopping trip with Raudah last Saturday. I waited like an dumb dumb for one and half hour at Somerset MRT cos she ended her Chingay late. I swear i wanted to kill her but thank god i didnt. Hahaha. We went to Somerset then to Orchard and back to Somerset again, trying to find some stuffs. Time spent was worthwhile and i love my bestfriend. :)

My whole week was spent bonding with classmates. We actually went to Yishun to eat twice this week due to the long breaks. Ferst was at LJS and the next day was at Swensens. Im getting broke sia. And yesterday, half of the class went to eat durians near Kallang. Lols. Time spent together was fun. More outings to come in the holidays i hope.

I went to Addy Cradle's Divine Concert yesterday. Im glad i went. I was inspired once again to learn how to play the guitar. Hahaha. But all that have to wait after the exams. I had fun at the concert. And the cute violinist smiled at me when we were sitting at the back after the concert. I melted for a while. Hahaha. Kae shut up.

Im itching to find a job during the holidays but i know its gonna be hard cos i can only work for 3 weeks. I badly want to earn some extra money. My expenses are seriously getting out of hand man. My money for the month are gone witihin a week. Thank god i can still control to not touch the money meant for school fees. I seriously need to do something about my money issues.

I left with 3 days of school then im done with classes for year 1. And when exams and attachment are done, im done with year 1. Cant wait for it. I wish i can fast forward to year 3 and get school done and over with. Well, lets hope year 2 will change my thoughts about nursing once again. Im trying hard to gain back my passion for nursing. Im sure its still somewhere in me. :S

Off to do my essay and literature review if i got the time. Haa. Take care peepos. :D

2010-01-27T21:18:00.002+08:00

I love my subgroup cos we always get stressed up towards the end of the semester.

I just realised i didnt update my blog for quite some time. I have been too busy. More like i have been too lazy to update. Hahaha. Nothing much happening in my life. I doubt anyone wanna read right? Lols.

School as usual has been crazy. I pass my nursing lab retest with no problem at all. I took the retest without any practice. So im happy. Even my own lecturer was like confused why i needed to retake the test. Lols. But heck, one down & another one to go. HA retest, bring it on without that robot leg teacher!! Haa.

Im going for attachment at NUH. Raudah, be very jealous kae? :)
Partially because i was late for sending the form in & also because i didnt want to leave just yet. Theres more people working in one ward this time & im with my kaki gereks again. So TTSH, wait till year 2 for me ouhkae? Heheh.

I got lots of presents to buy. Money came in late today. Those sponsored from TTSH was like waiting & waiting for the money to come & how we all envy those from other hospitals who got their pay earlier. Grrr!! Tkpe2. Sabar yer budak-budak TTSH. :D

Im getting lazy to go to school. Mostly because most modules are ending their lectures and tutorials so theres not much stuffs happening. And i cant stand the long breaks. No more group meetings to occupy the long breaks anymore. Aww. Im gonna miss my subgroup 3, the first ever group i could click with in poly. Haa.

I wanna play bowling! I wanna play pool! I wanna watch movies! I wanna shop! I wanna meet people i miss! Holidays come faster pls! But sadly, i wont be spending my holidays with Raudah due to the different attachment period. :(

& lastly, BF! Stay strong ouhkae? You know im always here anytime, anywhere. Cheer up ouhkae. We can live without guys remember? I owe u a big hug. ILYVVM. :)

I feel guilty treating you this way but its the only way i can get you away from me. Im sorry but i dont feel the same about you anymore.

2010-01-16T20:19:00.002+08:00

Pretty busy week i had. Finally done with all the presentations for year 1. BYE SUB GROUP THREE!!! hahaha. Fun working with you all but we were too comfy with each other that things just didnt werk out too well at the end. But still, i love you people! :)

I failed HA. Like wtf la can? I think i did ouhkae but i just got the wrong assessor. She wants everything perfect. She failed everyone from my class lor. Even the best ones. Even people from other classes who got her also failed. Therefore, theres only one conclusion. The fault didnt lie with us. It was that bloody woman! Grr!! Now have to go for remedial and retest in 2 weeks time. Waste my time & i still have to worry for HA again.

Wound dressing on monday and i pray damn hard i wont get the same assessor like HA. Else, i will just die la. I must pass this skills test no matter what.

Semestral exams timetable are out. I can just feel the pressure though theres still a month left to the papers. Kill me! And attachments are a pain in the ass. I hate having to be the second group to go. & a hassle i have to ask for transfer to the sponsored hospital. Arghhh!!

Well, other than school pressure, life is going just fine. I love my life and i love myself. Haha. Random.

I wanna enjoy holidays! But ferst i got to enjoy studying for the last bits of year 1. :S

2010-01-10T14:20:00.003+08:00

Blogger's a bitch. I cant upload pics again. =.=

School was slacking for the ferst week due to all the e-learning stuffs. No school on thursday and friday. Was spent mostly at home & taking care of Elly. Shes getting noisier. Lols.

Next week is gonna be crazy. Psycho presentation on tuesday and thursday is where all the craziness will kill me. I have E-assessment, health assessment test and child bearing presentation on that same day. Like thanks ehh. Bleh mati siak. Im not even prepared la. Health assessment especially. I hate that module and i dont really see the need for us to learn it.

I want to cut down on my spendings. I wanna save more money. I just feel that my spending since i got the bond money is worst when i used to survive on my school allowance. Therefore, no more shopping for me..... for now. Hahaha.

I dont know why but i feel like im losing my passion in nursing. Ferstly, i was half hearted when i ferst entered nursing. Now, with all the stress and amount of werk, its making me lose my interest even more. Still, i have to continue my studies and work for the 3 years before i plan on my future. Hopefully by then, i would have changed my mind.

Im feeling tired easily these days. Doesnt help with my head feeling heavy most of the time. I just hope i can survive the next 2 weeks. Its the weeks filled with so many important stuffs. Only after that, i can take a break for a while and then start studying for semestral exam. And before you know it, its already attachment and after that, its year 2. Like no life la seyy. I want school to end faster!

Ouh well, i better start on my presentation stuffs right now. Will update once im free. Take care. :)

2010-01-06T21:44:00.002+08:00

Everytime the money issue comes up, i cant help but cry. I feel so pathetic. Yeah, i know im sort of earning my own money right now. But with my phone bills, school fees & daily expenses to cope with, what am i left with after that? & its worst when you are supposed to be in your dad's care till you get married but he can happily let go of the responsibility just like that. I swear i hate this. I feel that im unfairly treated. But what can i do? You are stubborn and i cant change that. Somehow, im disappointed. Disappointed in my own dad.

2009-12-31T23:40:00.000+08:00

I have been out like nearly everyday since the start of holidays. Hectic i tell ya. Now im struggling to finish off my 1500 word essay. Hopefully to be done by this saturday so i can go out with my secondary school clique on sunday. (:

Last Friday was spent with my family. From morning till night. We went shopping & cat-hunting. Lols. I simply love the day & hope theres more to come in the future.

Saturday was spent with dearest 2 gfs, Raudah & Noni! Went to eat at popeye at Airport before we went to Tampines to shop till we drop. Haa. Highlight of the day was when we did the colouring of window art at this one lil shop. Its mostly filled with children and my, arent they good at these things! They did way better than we teenagers could. Maluuu!

Sunday was off to Singapore Idol at Indoor Stadium with my secondary school friends. Great to see them again. We were screaming our hearts out like nobody's business. Sezairi won. Yeay! But im actually a big fan of Sylvia & Tabby. Heh! So it felt funny that i had to go there to support Sezairi instead. But still, a job well done to both of them. :)

Monday was spent accompanying my mum to TTSH for a check up. I had to bring Elly again. Thank god my sis took half day so the awkwardness from people didnt last long. Heh.

I spent my tuesday afternoon meeting Faiz. Accompanied his cousin to ITE Tampines & then off to Ubi to take his working uniform. Short time spent together but i really appreciate it. I met Raudah in the evening and we went to Woodlands library to find references for our essay. Ate at BK & made our way back after i bought some stuffs.

I was supposed to have my class gathering yesterday but it was cancelled last minute due to many not being able to make it. So i tagged along to get Elly's ears pierced. She looks cute with the earrings. Hee. At night was out with my family to meet my aunt for dinner. I bought a backpack i have been eyeing for the past month. Like finally. Hee.

Today i went to school early in the morning for health assessment practice. If only i knew earlier it wasnt compulsory. Grr! But still i had fun with my classmates. I went home with Shaf. Had a lil catching up with her. & yeah, here i am. Staying home for the eve of new year. Im actually lazy to go out. Can you believe it? Haa. Well, im gonna do my essay once 2010 comes in less than half an hour. :D

2009 has been a great year for me. Alot of changes in life. From school to having a new family member, it really taught me alot. I just hope 2010 will be a fruitful year for me. My new year resolutions are simple. Ferstly, do better in my studies. Secondly, to keep fit & healthy. & lastly, to try & learn new things. Hopefully things will go my way this time. :)

So anyway, Happy New Year people! May 2010 be a better year for you. :)

2009-12-24T23:41:00.002+08:00

I was out with Farhan today. Its been so long since we last see each other. Haa. So we had a good catching up session though i was trying so hard to stand my menses cramp. Sheesh. So our plan was suppose to windowshop at Ion & watch movie later at Shaw but Shaw was so full of people so we train-ed to City Hall & went to Marina Square. So bought tickets to Avatar & played pool to kill time. Haha. Finally i won a game on my own. Haa. Avatar was awesome la though it was damn long. My butt ache like no one's business. But then, no complains. Avatar was great. (:
Then we went back to Ion to windowshop. I gotta say its boring cos theres nothing much for people like us to do. Haa. So after a while, we went home. Heh.

I accompanied my mum for check up at hospital yesterday. Raudah tagged along cos we had to bring Elly. People was staring at me cos they thought Elly was my daughter. I looked like some bad girls turned good trying to get my life back on track. & if that wasnt bad enough, someone gave up the piority seat to me on the MRT. Paisey giler i tell u. I didnt want to sit at first but when people started looking again, i quickly sit down & didnt dare to look up. Haa. Maluu sia! I have to get used to it la i guess. Sheesh.

Im gonna spend Christmas tomorrow with my family hopefully. & i freaking need to start on the 1500 word essay! :S

2009-12-22T00:43:00.003+08:00

Sharifah Raudah, im super touched by your post. Loves~

Watched New Moon the other day. & im still in love with Carlisle Cullen. Hehe. I cant wait for Eclipse next. & i hate the ending la. Hanged like always. Sheesh.

Cut & dyed my hair together with Raudah. Not so obvious la my hair colour unless its under the light or sun.

I went out with my classmates today. Damn fun la seyy. Met up with Nabilah & June at bns. But guess who i saw when i reach? Nuraini! My ferst thought was like im meeting the wrong person for the wrong outing. Haha. June brought her daughter & shes super adorable. Met up with Jorene & Eileen along the way & met up with Fathiah, Sham & Xiu at City Hall. The bowling place was full so we went to eat. After waiting for an hour plus, finally we get to bowl. Im losing my special touch in bowling :( Funny la seeing my classmates bowl. The ones who dont know how to bowl just anyhow throw the ball & hit the longkang dont know how many times. Haha. Some even swing the ball backwards. Lols. After that, the rest left, leaving me, Fathiah & Sham. We went to play pool. Thanks to Sham who taught me. For a ferst timer, im not bad ouhkae? Haha. Anyone wanna play pool with me? :D Went for dinner before going home.

My whole week is packed & it doesnt include some of the plans i have made. I still havent start on the 1500words assignment. I havent even borrow books for reference. On top of that, i have powerpoint slides to finish up on. Can i kill myself please? I wanna enjoy life but school is preventing me from doing so. :(